I am not old!

When I was a kid I remember thinking that my parents were incredibly old and my grandparents were ancient. I wasn’t even sure what to do when I met my great-grandparents. I’m pretty sure the question “how can someone this old still be alive?” was floating around in my mind during that interaction. I am now 28. My parents are still incredibly old, and my grandparents will always be ancient (love you grandma!). I will be (because it will happen one day) completely torn between crapping my pants and passing out when I see my great-grandparents since they will either be angels or zombies, and no, I have no idea which one will be cooler. And yes, I am now trying to figure that out as I’m typing. That being said, I AM NOT OLD! 28 is not old!!!

Freakn’ young people…

Last week I decided that I wanted to see what young people read. Not the young adult novels but like 7-10 year-olds. I’m obsessed with mythology (don’t know why that’s important, but there’s a surprise nugget of Britti-ness fact for you) so I found a few that seemed interesting and started reading. It’s 5 am, I can’t sleep, my M*A*S*H* session is being interrupted because Netflix is doing weird things, so I pick up my iPad and start reading The Colossus Rises. It’s not a bad book to be completely honest. I get to the part where this kid is talking about how she likes old movies, and I’m thinking that I can totally relate. I watched Monkey Business last night and I just updated my Netflix queue a couple of hours ago to include a bunch of classics like Some Like it Hot and Rio Bravo. Heck, I would be watching M*A*S*H* if I had any input on my life. I’m thinking we could be best friends. Then she says “like The Truman Show.” And in those four little words I go from mailing her the friendship bracelet that I just braided in .03 seconds to wanting to throat punch a 12 year-old girl. Are you serious right now? The Truman Show… That’s what we’re basing “old” on? That’s just hitting below the belt honey. You don’t know what kind of amazing relationship you just threw away like yesterday’s garbage because of your ignorance. And yes! I did just toss my hair when I said that. (I will be giving hair tossing lessons next Wednesday for $30/person. I will throw in hair twirling for free. Because YES! It is an art!)

At what point in time did I become old? Seriously though. I want a for realzies (see! I can be cool) answer. I don’t remember a tap on the shoulder or a whisper in the ear giving me a heads-up. Which is incredibly rude if you ask me. Even now that I’m looking back on everything that I grew up with, I’m still thinking that, “yah, all of that could be considered old-ish if I were talking to someone really young, but it’s not my fault that they’re not cool like me.” 28 is not old! Are you pickn’ up what I’m puttn’ down?

P.S. I have decided that when I meet my great-grandparents I want them to be angels, but angels that grant wishes like a genie. Well, I really just want wishes so they can come back as zombie/genies if they want as long as they don’t kill me so I can make my wishes. Now I have to figure out what wishes I would wish for. I’m sticking to the Disney’s Aladdin rules. There are so many things to think about. Writing a blog is really hard…

My head hurts…

I need Asprin…


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