Bird Ninjas!

I am terrified of any animal/critter that can fly excluding fireflies, house flies and ladybugs. Yes. I am even terrified of butterflies because of their awful association with moths, and if you’re not afraid of moths than you’re a big fat liar pants. I am especially wary of birds because they will eat your face off if  your not careful! I shouldn’t even have to say this because it should be common knowledge by now. Have you met someone that wasn’t careful around birds? No! You haven’t because they’re hiding in shame with the other faceless people that weren’t on their guard when they should’ve been. Those sly devils…

So! I was sitting on my bed reading a book when I heard a bird chirp. My first reaction was to hunch down in my bed and stealthy look at the ceiling because, obviously, a bird had somehow made it into my bedroom without me noticing it all day. It had been hiding silently, as ninjas are prone to do, creeping slowly closer and closer. Then at the pre-approved time of 9:30 pm it belted out its war cry before it was to strike me dead! Upon not seeing a bird flying around the ceiling I slowly sat up straighter in order to see the floor where the sound came from. The entire time I searched for the bird in black I went through all the different ways I could survive this inevitable attack; all of which include me hiding and praying for God to save me. And then!!! I saw my phone innocently lying there softly announcing that I had a text message…

Until next time bird ninja! I will be waiting for you…

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